Doctor On Toast by Richard Gordon

Author:Richard Gordon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Doctor on Toast
ISBN: 9780755131112
Publisher: House of Stratus
Published: 2013-06-10T04:00:00+00:00

15

I was a cad again, of course. But I didn’t care. At last I’d been cured of the cataracts which had smitten my eyes since Christmas.

Simply to get a bit of her own back on Basil, Ophelia had deliberately tipped out the story of our love-life and jolly near lost me my skin. It suddenly struck me what a shocking little vixen the woman was. I wondered why on earth I hadn’t tumbled to it long before that frightful chase round the deck, when she’d rapidly changed in status from the light of my life to my bête blonde.

You can understand she found a pretty reserved welcome the next morning when she had the temerity to tap on the door of my cabin.

‘Darling, you do look pale and wan,’ she greeted me. ‘Perhaps you’re not very well?’

‘Not through lack of exercise, I assure you,’ I returned crisply.

‘You mean last night, darling? I’m so sorry about it. Dreadfully. I’d no idea Basil would get so excited.’

‘Excited? Damn it! There was nearly murder on the high seas.’

Ophelia gave a sigh. ‘I can’t understand why he was so annoyed. After all, Basil and I are nothing to each other any longer, are we?’

I snorted. ‘At least the chap’s securely shut up between the chain lockers and the paint store, and won’t be able to go round murdering anyone else till we’re safely home in London.’

‘Poor Basil!’ murmured Ophelia.

‘He’s only got what he jolly well deserved.’

‘Poor dear Basil!’

‘Poor dear Basil, indeed! What about poor dear me?’ I demanded. ‘You might have come up this morning and found me in slices.’

‘But it’s so terrible! Thinking of Basil rotting in jail.’

‘Personally, the idea keeps me in fits.’

Ophelia gave a little quiver, and started to weep like a cloudburst at Old Trafford.

Of course, you need a heart like a kerbstone to remain unmoved by a woman’s tears, particularly Ophelia’s. After a minute or two I began to shuffle a bit, and said uneasily:

‘I expect he’s quite comfy, really. He gets regular grub and plenty of fags. And after sharing a cabin with twelve other stewards, it must be rather nice to be on your own for a change.’

‘I just can’t bear to think of him!’ I offered a handkerchief. ‘Dear Basil! Do you suppose there are rats in his cell? He was always so frightened of mice.’

I passed the duty-free cigarette tin, but she was weeping so much she quite ruined half of them.

‘And Sybil’s terribly upset, too,’ Ophelia went on, blowing her nose.

‘Sybil? You mean Sybil van Barn?’

‘She’s really a very sweet person, once you get to know her. We had a long cry together this morning.’

I was about to make some nasty remark about bitch eat bitch, but all this weeping was making me so rattled I felt it time to turn off the supply at the mains.

‘Now look here, Ophelia,’ I said, civilly enough. ‘We mustn’t worry too much about Basil. If I simply explain to the Captain the perfect truth that he’s really

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.